Jul 132010

Part One …

There are a great many places in Brighton and Hove to eat, that are fabulous, serve excellent food, great service, good value … but where’s the fun in that? So, this is the first in – hopefully – a series of reviews of the terrible, disastrous, cock-ups!

Piccolo Restaurant

We were wandering around, looking for somewhere for a quick lunch, and came across Piccolo’s Restaurant, which seemed like a great deal – a little cheaper than the place next door, good selection of pizzas, in we went. I wish the write-up on their site were true; “The premier Italian restaurant in the heart of Brighton town centre, Piccolo is one of Brighton´s best-kept secrets.”

Perhaps the second part IS in fact true … if it weren’t a secret, it would surely have gone out of business by now!

I ordered a four cheese pizza; Wouter ordered a vegetarian. We ordered a half bottle of wine between us. The wine came, was opened, poured and the (inattentive) waiter buggered off again, without any chance for us to try it; probably intentionally, since the wine – while not corked – was only slightly better than a nice malt vinegar. Yum.

However, we were still optimistically waiting for our pizzas. What a shame …

The pizzas were about 25% smaller in diameter than every other Italian restaurant I’ve ever visited … so, a false economy there already. Still, perhaps the taste would prove worth it.

Oh dear …

The bases were, essentially, dry biscuits! The tomato sauce … was red, but, flavourless. Thin, watery, bland and tasteless.

And my four cheeses … two were visible, one was mozzarella and the other was … PROCESSED CHEESE! Truly awful. Wouter suffered through a bland, tasteless concoction of mushy vegetables, crappy sauce and pointless “cheese”.

Bottom line; don’t go.